The art of asking a girl out

When people ask me for some first date advice, one of the most common questions I encounter is, “How do I ask a Girl on a Date? I honestly think that this “mentality is rife among the male species and is just not ideal. What do I mean?

By thinking too much about the best approach on how to ask a girl out, you are compounding the issue because:

•It’s a dead giveaway. Its a giveaway that you are into her, thus giving her option to toy with you.

•If she says “yes, then you will have to deal with meeting her expectations.

•If she says “no, aside from the fact that it sucks, things could turn sour or awkward between the two of you.

Just ask her on a casual meet up rather than using the word date. When i get the response that I want, I then proceed to my "what not to do" checklist. Let me share with you a couple of these first date advice.

Things to Avoid

No Movies and Expensive Restaurants – this normally does not give you any favorable results, plus it can be quite pricey. I don’t get the point of wasting 2 hours inside the movie house where you have no chance of establishing a connection since you have to keep your mouth shut all the time. Eating at expensive restaurants entails so much formality that adds more pressure and keeps each other’s defenses up. Movies and restos can limit both your abilities to act normally.

Spending too much money on a girl on your first date translates to “you trying to impress her, which should not be the case.

Don’t include your Family and Friends – A date spent with your family or friends is really not a date and will just breed the feeling of awkwardness between the two of you.

Things to do on a first date.

Hang out –Do something casual and comfortable. Although some traditional first date advice tells you to bring her to a restaurant, this is not always true. Women enjoy the idea of hanging out as it allows them to act normally. Also, this gives you the opportunity to turn the tables on her and let her prove how much fun she is to talk to and hang out with.

Bring her to a small coffee shop or a lounge. Invite her to help you shop for a present for your best friend’s birthday or help you pick u good book to read.

Daytime dates are always nice as you have more options to chose from. Also, daytime activities give the both of you more things to see which you can use to start an interesting conversation. Spontaneity is the name of the game!

Show Her Where You Live – Though somewhat unusual, it has its perks. Pretend to forget something at your house and invite her in. Let her check your place out as you pretend to look for something. This way, inviting her over to your place later won’t be that challenging anymore since she already knows your environment, she’s seen you in it and she knows you’re going to behave yourself.

Be Punctual and Dress Appropriately – No explanation needed here I think.

Let her Talk More – never ask yes or no questions. As for you, keep things vague and don’t talk about your problems. Keep the spotlight on her. Also, act like you also want her to impress you.

How to End Your Date – keep the date short and sweet. Make sure that you’re the one who ends the date in order not to create the notion that you are chasing after her. Crucial first date advice: end the date at its peak so as to make her look forward to the next one.

For more spot-on first date advice and blow-by-blow dating tips that anchors to reality and the psychology of women, check out the amazing Mack Tactics seduction manual…

Dudes are always asking me for suggestions on how to talk to women. In particular, they want to know what kind of talk "turns women on." I always tell these guys, before you learn the correct words to seduce women and figure out what to talk about with girls, you need to be aware of the words and language to avoid. 

For example, one of the worst things you can do when talking to women is come off as a "needy" guy. Most men don’t realize that they are coming across “needy when talking to a woman. But the women picks up on it quickly.  She can very quickly tell that you’re trying too hard to impress her. And when a guy attempts to impress a girl during that first conversation, it has the opposite effect: it turns her off.

Coming across as an insecure guy is extremely unattractive.  You can’t talk to women and seem like a nervous wreck and expect her to feel attraction towards you. Women are turned on by guys who are confident and sesure with themselves. If she senses that you don’t possess those traits she will quickly lose attraction towards you.

Women are turned off by guys who are “boring.  Knowing how to keep the conversation fun is one of the keys to being successful when talking to women. If you continually find yourself facing awkward silences, stuck in boring “interview mode or talking about mundane topics like the weather… you can be sure that the woman you’re talking to will quickly lose interest.

One of the major factors that will kill a woman’s attraction toward you is displaying a lack of social intelligence.  Women are social creatures.  They go along with the "social norms." If a man doesn’t seem aware of what is socially acceptable or “cool she will quickly dismiss him as being “below her.  An easy way to do display a lack of social intelligence while talking to a woman is to make an inappropriate comment, not take the “cues she is sending you, or continually tell jokes that no one finds funny.

Look, when you consider the huge number of options that a pretty girl has -- and how much attention she receives from men -- you can't blame these chicks for not wanting to waste their time with a guy who is insecure, weak, needy, boring or just plain clueless.  Ask yourself… do you find these sort of women attractive?

OK, now that we've covered the type of talk (and men) that turn women off, let's move on and discuss...

What type of talk turns women on?

You have to know how to talk to women in a way that brings out her fun, flirty, and playful side.  There is a song “Girls Just Want to Have Fun… and the song is correct. This holds true in any environment where women are hanging out socializing (bars, clubs, parties, etc).  She is there to have fun. You must be able to flirt with a woman in a way that makes her feel like she is back on the playground with her childhood crush.

Never forget that women are driven by their emotions.  You must be able to talk to women in a way that brings on an emotional state within her. Talk about topics that evoke an emotional response from her, and cause her to experience emotional memories. Don't focus on anything sad or morose. I'm referring to topics such as her passions, hidden talents, the best vacation she ever went on, etc. 

You need to display that you are a socially intelligent man.  If she gets the sense that you've got power, status and approval within this social scene, she's going to be be automatically interested in you. It's just how this stuff works! Like I said earlier, women are social creatures, and when they meet you and talk to you they're looking for cues as to your social status. (Are you higher than her, which means you can possibly improve her status? Or are you lower, in which case she will LOSE status by being associated with you?) The good news is that you really don't need to have power, status, etc. You just need to make her THINK you have these qualities, by talking to her in a way that conveys confidence and self-assuredness. You have to talk to her from a place of power, status, and SLIGHT superiority.  It's a rule of human nature: if a girl feels that you're slightly above them on the social ladder, they're going to want to "hitch their cart" to you and be a part of your world.

Next, you must talk to women in a way that brings out the "sexy side" of their personality.  The fact is, you can be having the greatest conversation in the world about a topic like “health food but it will rarely lead to attraction. In order to talk to a woman in a way that leads to sexual attraction you must not be scared to talk about things on a more intimate level. This doesn’t mean you talk about sex… but it does mean that you don’t shy away from personal and intimate topics. The right topics will create a sense of "deep rapport" (where she feels bonded to you), and when that happens, it's easy to move into the seduction phase.

Very few guys understand the dynamics of how to talk to women in a way that creates deep interest and attraction.   Most guys just wind up boring women.

I have coached enough men to know that most of them will freeze up in front of a beautiful woman.  And if they don't completely freeze up, they try to talk to her -- but come across as needy, boring and insecure, which is a lethal combination. 

You'll notice that guys who are awesome with women will LEAD the conversation in a fun, flirty and playful manner. Remember, she wants to feel SECURE and COMFORTABLE with you, which starts with you being comfortable with yourself and the situation. She feeds off of your energy. Then, if you can make her smile and laugh, you're golden.

In brief, the key to attracting a woman is to talk to her in a way that makes her feel fun, enjoyment and a sense of excitement when she's around you -- while slowly letting the sexual tension build. At that point, it's about escalating (verbally AND physically) and knowing the right moment to give her the first kiss...

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